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Mark Cato Champion - Major No 5 Nizels Golf & Country Club
Friday 09 August 2013, 07:00 - 22:00
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by David Williams

Reprisals at Nizels!!!

Hello Golfers and music fans,

Welcome to the SOUND CLASH at Nizels Golf and Country club, (Siren) Woo Woo, Here for one night only, the story of the B I G play off at NIZELS!!!!! With greens as slick as a slip mat, and a wetting down from the heavens, its all to play for!!!

Watch out for the tunes!!! There's a pop quiz at the end!!!!!

Starting with the top three no shows, due to injury, fear or other engagement, In at 30, 29 and 28 were, Tiger Woods, too busy on another course…" I'm so sorry" (but $30mil too late), D J Malcolm O'Garro.

"I'm a soul man, Ta Da Da, Ta Da Daa Daa" Andy Ferdinand, "Night Nur ur urse,"

Now we start on the top 27 rundown……

26) With a promising morning, but an afternoon like the winners back nine, (13/19) and a new member of the SIX BLOB club, Keith Murray. "Police and Teevs on the street, oh ye-a-ah"

25) Holding up, but only just, (6/28) large portions of humble pie, with lashings of kick ass, Mickey Griffin.."And the girls them sugar that's all, welcome the king of the dance hall"

BACK UP.BACK UP.REWIND.....WHAT!!!! AFTER ALL THAT CHAT!!!!!!!!

"It wasn't me", 

24) Still in the twenties, and I don't mean his age, I mean his handicap,,,,,,, Greg Worrel, with a tuff start and an even tougher fight back, (9/27) "One day you a dreadlocks, well dread, next day you a bald head, clean shaved"

23) Followed closely by David Williams, (15/22) also a SIX BLOB club member, the quiet man with hard competitive edge, "Easy dancing, get that feeling, yeah,"

22) Next up is Mayhe Bernard, (10/28) a tight morning with a better afternoon, First thing she ask if you have your brush, if you have your brush you can avoid the rush,,"

21) Mike Woodstock runs close behind with a decent morning but a lesser afternoon, (16/23) "We were only strangers in the night, getting to know each other, the mood as right"


 

TOP TWENTY COUNTDOWN……..BO, BO, BO, BO, (echo)……

20) On count back, The other Mr Murray, Clyde, (14/25), a mid stream morning score, and a similar return in the afternoon. "Me e a and, Mrs, Mrs jo o o ones, We got a thiiing goin o on.....We both know that it's wrong, but its much too strong to let it go now......"

19) Count back again separates Cassius Browne, without breaking family ties, (14/25), his back nine drew them apart. "Look whose dancing, look whose dancing now"

18) Steve Lee-Sang, our most recent winner, carrying the burden of missing a few shots, started well in the morning, but built a picket fence in the afternoon, as the blobs massed to 8, an expensive time..but good for charity. " I'm gonna walk down to, electric avenue.

17) A good start for Roger Greenidge, was followed by a decline in the p.m. (18/25) but it was enough to keep face..... "You've been crying, your face is a mess, come in baby, you can dry the tears on my dress"

16) Martin Rigg ran a fair morning, but like most, dropped off in the afternoon, to give him an average, but worthy, pair of cards, (13/29) " I met a boy the other day, he got barbwire in his underpants"

Jeff Robinson, our second time guest, would have been placed here, at 16th, in the point scoring, with his morning score of 15, followed by a very respectable 27, based on the days average afternoon scores. "We've come a long way, but still got far to go"

15) Then we have the ever effervescent Frank Skinner, one of the founders of our fantastic society, fast out of the traps in the early part of the day, but, trimmed his sails a bit later on(15/28) "I don't wanna sleep no more, I don't wanna walk no more"

14) Followed on count back by Steve Garner, another more than worthy member, starting in the middle running, but finishing just outside the top half(15/28) "Some o them thought we already a done, some o them thought that the bad boy done"

13) Yet again the back nine splits Stuart Austrie from the pack behind him, after a better than average start, but a drop off in the afternoon, still good enough on the day, "Now that I've a lost everything to you, you say you want start something new"


 

And into the DIRTY DOZEN, and I don't mean back streets in SOHO..(Taxi Driver joke) IN BULLS EYE STYLIE!!!!!

IIIN 12) Mark Henry kicks off with a hard fought level twos card, but the is damaged by the lack of comedy shots in the afternoon to keep him relaxed - (18/26) "I feel a shiver, I'm feeling down an out, I'm a true believer, I know what it's all about"

IIIN 11) Tunde Adeshokan made a good beginning, but clearly only got one lunch, instead of his usual two, and must have run out of picnic on the way round as he trailed off on his back nine, but still a dammed respectable card - (15/30) "I don't wanna dance, dance with you baby, no more"

ADVERT......A reminder for you to remember not to forget……….

"Don't forget to purchase your ticket for the rootinest tootinest Dinner Dance in town, get down to the sounds of yester-year at the Holiday Inn Russell Square, good food and ENTERTAINMENT! Including close-up conjuring and a great selection of wines, no tickets available on the door, so contact your committee to buy them now!!!!!

£60 before, but none on the door, door, door


 

TOP TEN TIME!!!!!

TEN - BIG Ernie Owusu comes out steady eddy and keeps that pace up all day, " down the middle, on the green, three putts - (15/31) "Well I'm easy, easy like a Sunday morning"

NINE - Lee Herbert, Martin's partner in crime, comes bounding in with a regular increase over each nine to card a good number and justify his place in the top ten - (15/33) "I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot his deputy"

EIGHT - Randy Plowright, always never far from the points that take up the OOM, carding a levels morning round, but struggled in the heat in the afternoon - (18/31) "Isn't it strange how princesses and kings"

SEVEN - Our illustrious Lady Captain, HRH Jaqui Harbour, puts many to shame, with a fine morning, and a steady afternoon blob free card, to finish well in the points - (18/33) "Everybody must work, oh work, everybody must work, work hard"

SIX - "Course Record", Richard Payne, puts in a rising score over the day, as he gradually increases his chances, but is pipped to a top five finish by that old enemy, count back - (15/35) "Nani wine down so, Nani wine down slow

FIVE - With a BIG come back after time away working, some very long drives, but not behind the wheel this time, Chris Thomas busts out a score - (20/30) "I no care what people say, me just do what me want to do, I just stick to me girl like glue, an I naw play number two"

FOUR - A lady player, again puts in a blob free afternoon, Cora Edwards, starting steady, followed by a late rush to the finishing line - 17/34) "I've been watching you, for so long its a shaaame"

THREE - Things are hotting up now as the elder brother leads the way, Ossie Roberts, putting in a great score from morning to afternoon, working hard to fight off his bro - (19/33) "This is not a dreadlocks thing, De-vine conception of the heart"

TWO - NEARLY there now, with little bro bringing in a superb score, starting with a stunning morning, followed by a fabulous afternoon, Raf Roberts, the man with a smile that always greets you and makes you want shake his hand - (21/32) "I'm gonna walk away from love, be-fore itbreaks my heart"

AND FINALLY, NÚMERO UNO,

Our winner, with a tight and well-earned morning score of 22!!!! Followed by a waaaaay better than average 33, even three blobs didn't put him off the trail, the one, the only - MARK CATO!

"To all of my jiggers and mic M C's, hand ina the air with your lovely at ease"

Results to follow...........

 It just goes to show how lots of practice on the range and a sneaky practice round on the course, pays BIG TIME!!!!

So, there we have it, a big challenge met head on by every participant, with a wide variety of outcomes, and a very well deserved win for Mark.

See you all at Lingfield Park?

I certainly hope soNow to the quiz, I have a written line from a tune in each section, and anyone who can find the reggae/soul/soca/calypso cover artist or original artist, wins a free, yes FREE, round of golf, as my guest at Trent Park, including breakfast and a bucket of practise balls.

Just the first one though,

Yours in golf - Mickey Griffin

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